As a first-time mom, I have my share of regrets, lessons, comparisons. There is nothing wrong with you if you experience these. All of these will make you a wiser mom and there is no point putting blame on yourself every time something went amiss because your baby depends on you. Remember that babies mirror what they see. And if they see a happy mom, you will see more of their smiles.
Your baby will cry, and you will too.
With a newborn, you will be in a totally different experience. It’s like you were hired for a job when you did not know the job description. The truth is—every new parent is just winging it. If you feel overwhelmed and under slept, you might find yourself crying and it is okay! Sometimes, when you finally find some time for yourself, you’ll hear your baby cry and you will cry with them—not knowing if you are doing anything right. Take solace in the fact that no one can do it better than you do in taking care of your child.
You never knew how protective you can be.
Women do not know how strong they are unless they need to protect the ones they love. And true enough, when you have you own babies, you will not know the lengths you are going to go to see them safe and happy. Unknowingly, in certain situations, your inner Mama Bear will protect your cubs before you realize it.
In my case, I had my baby in the midst of pandemic. This means I had to limit people interacting with my baby and also protecting her whenever we need to go out—avoiding crowds and closed spaces. Trust yourself even when other people say you are being overprotective. They are not the ones who will take care of your baby when they get sick, right?
You love your children, but you also want a break from them.
Hear, hear! Our love for our children may be unconditional, but sometimes seeking time away from them is reasonable. It is important that you take time for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it. You should be able to recharge your peace, so you will get back to your family with a renewed strength and spirit.
When you find a person whom you can trust your baby with, and is willing to help, accept that offer and don’t feel guilty. You are not a bad mom by accepting help from others. It is important that you take a break to remember that you are not only a mom, you are also a daughter, a sister, a friend, or you just need to feel good about yourself. A break from your baby is a luxury so take as much as you can out of it.
Babies don’t need fancy to be happy.
As a new mom, you might be tempted to buy everything you see that other moms use to interact with their babies. Most of the time, they will go to waste. You see, babies do not need a lot to be happy. It is important that you take some one-on-one time with your baby daily and be fully present. Babies will laugh at anything they find funny—a new sound, a new feeling, a new sensation. They will play with milk cartons, clothes hanger, and anything they find interesting. You don’t have to drain your bank account to make your child happy. Remember, quality time is more important than fancy items.
You are not alone.
At times, you probably feel too overwhelmed that you think you are alone in this experience, you are not. Somewhere out there, another mom is awake at 2am feeding her baby, another one is awake doing nappy change because baby just had a massive poop.
You might feel blinded by the love and obligation you feel toward your baby, but find support in the people you know. Make friends with someone going through the same experience as you—neighbors, cousins, or just people you found online! The support system is very essential so you can get tips and suggestions of what works for them that you may be able to try on your own as well.
Time is a thief.
One minute they are tiny in your arms, the next thing you know they are running around and eating on their own. You never realize how fast they grow until you remember all the little things you used to do for them that they can already do on their own. Seems like yesterday, right? I know! So delight in the time you and your baby spends together. Make sure to take lots of pictures and cherish the little moments. Your baby may not remember, but you will. These little humans will always be our babies no matter how heavy or big they get. Take as much time as you can with them whether you’re just taking a walk or reading a book. These will be a core memory for either of you, so be sure to make multitude of them.